Cooking - What My Christmas Cookies Say About Me (And You)

Chrismakkuh time in the Ferchaw house is all about the TLC -- tamales, latkes and cookies. 

And love. 

And the baby Jesus. Of course.

And through the holy trinity of holiday foods, I often learn a great deal about myself. Come, poor shepherd. Let me guide through the miracle of fat and carbohydrates. 

SNOWBALLS

I have heard them called Russian Tea Cakes or Mexican Wedding Cakes. The recipe I use from Allrecipes calls them Snowballs. I call them the work of the devil. 

Bitches be good.

I'm not a huge sweets person as you know. So two little balls are perfect for me. I would even be happy with one little ball. I'm not a greedy lady, you know. 


These are the perfect compact bit of buttery, nutty, sugary goodness. And, even better, my husband made them this year. 


That's right. Larry baked. I don't think that makes me any less of a woman or him any less of a man. Really it just makes me lazy and him impatient for the damn cookies. And he executed them beautifully.


Unfortunately, because of all the rolling into cute little balls, they take a little bit of time to prepare and you should consider yourself very lucky if we give you any of them. They are the cookie equivalent of gold in our house. Or even the cookie equivalent of french fries, which I share under almost no circumstances. 


Note: If you try the above recipe, I usually don't roll them in peppermint. Just good, old powdered sugar.


CHOCOLATE MINT COOKIES

 I think these are the perfect cookie exchange cookies. They are quick and easy to make and everyone loves chocolate mint, right? If you don't, you are a communist. That's right. I said it. 

So yeah, Commie, bake these up for those cookie exchange parties. You know, the ones that sound good in theory until you realize that you are a major germaphobe and start panicking at the thought of cookies with dog hair in them which would be fine if it were your own dog's hair but who wants to eat a stranger's dog's hair? Not me! Especially since I don't have a dog.

So now I'm writing and feeling all bad because I was actually invited to a cookie exchange party but backed out at the last minute because everyone in our house was sick. But those guests probably didn't want to catch a cold from our infectious cookies. What would be better? Dog hair or the cold virus? Tough call.

Oh and I also didn't go because most of the people were making peanut butter cookies. And I hate peanut butter. But that wasn't the main reason. It was like 60% cold virus, 20% germaphobe and 20% peanut butter aversion.

THUMBPRINT COOKIES

When I think of Ina Garten, I think "pretentious food Nazi." And yet I'm drawn to her. I feel insecure and unsure whenever she tells me to use good olive oil or good mayo. How do I know if my Best Foods is good enough? I often wonder if I myself am good enough to making her recipes. 

But I make them. And when they come out beautifully I feel high and mighty. These puppies are also like gold so, if you get some, you too are good enough. 


MALTED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

I end this list with cookies I've never made before but look amazing. I'm a big fan of flat, chewy cookies. And I've yet to find the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe for me. I guess this recipe doesn't say much about either of us except that I am always on the hunt for something bigger and better. And you have patiently enjoyed the ride. :-)

So I'm hoping to try these bad boys this weekend if I can find the time between cooking for Chanukah, Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. Maybe I can enlist my dear husband again...

I would like to wish everyone a wonderful holiday weekend! I appreciate each and every one of you. You make every day just plain good. 

Love,

Cooking - Slow Cooker White Turkey Chili

Today was one of those days where nothing made sense. 


After a nightmare woke me up at 5 am, my whole chi was thrown off. Then I couldn't go back to sleep because I was having anxiety over a free visit with a parenting expert this morning.


Even though everyone assures me that my children's issues are not really issues at all, but rather normal developmental phases of growing up, I simply will not rest until I've turned each of them into spunky, yet obedient academic geniuses who also demonstrate amazing artistic skill. And are also completely kind, social, well-adjusted kids.


I know. Good luck with that.


So I went to the meeting with Dr. Selena armed with all my questions on how to exorcise the demons that are Maya and Lincoln.


While I nervously prattled on and on about all of Lincoln's mischief, that son-of-a-bitch sat there nicely at the table -- quietly playing with toys and neatly eating his snack. He was sweet and social and even clearly spoke out, "I need help, please, Mama."


That little asshole. It was the first time in my life I was embarrassed that my child was acting good.


So embarrassed, in fact, that I fought back tears the whole session because this woman probably thought I was an idiot and wasting her time. There are pyromaniacs who could've used this free appointment!!! 


Oh well. 


I gathered my polite angel, who smiled and waved "bye-bye," and drove to the nearest fast food Mexican restaurant. I drowned my fictitious woes in a massive California burrito. If you haven't heard of a California burrito, then I won't explain it because you will think me suicidal. 


Oh, and after eating that football-sized, tortilla-wrapped bundle of death, I called a therapist. I shit you not. Because clearly, the problem is me and not my children. And I do care for them. That's why I did not share my burrito. 


And here's a recipe for Slow Cooker White Turkey Chili. You deserve some sort of reward for reading this post. 


I love chili in all forms. My previous Turkey Chili post is the best. But this is the best white chili. I highly recommend eating with mounds of jack cheese and Fritos on top. If I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me!

Slow Cooker White Turkey Chili


1 Tablespoon Canola Oil
1 package Ground Turkey
1 onion, chopped
1 serrano or jalapeno, seeded and minced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 tablespoon ground coriander
2 tablespoons cumin
1 cup tomatillo salsa
2 cans (14 oz. each) chicken stock
1 can cannellini or Great Northern beans
1 handful of fresh cilantro, chopped
Juice of 1 lime
Shredded Monterey Jack or Pepper Jack
Corn chips


Directions


1. Heat oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Brown turkey with onions, pepper and garlic.
2. Add turkey mixture, seasonings, salsa, stock and beans to the slow cooker. 
3. Heat on Low for at least four hours.
4. Before serving, add cilantro and lime juice.
5. Garnish with cheese and chips.


So easy and healthy! One of Larry's favorite dishes. 

Cooking - Holy Mole Chicken Enchiladas

So I try to make a new recipe every week. I've got ADD like that. Or is it ADHD? Can you have one and not the other? Are they basically the same thing but now it is PC to say ADHD? Do people still use the term PC?


What was I saying? Oh yes, FOOD. 


I'm not one of those people who make the same things over and over again. I rarely make the same thing twice in one month. I would even venture to say I rarely make the same thing twice in a six month span. 


I think this is also causing ADD (or ADHD) in my children. (Or PTSD, for that matter.) They never want the same thing over and over again. Maya always wants new foods, new shows, new toys, etc. She has no real "favorite" anything. What if she never settles down and marries a guy because she wants to constantly search for the next best thing? I want grandchildren dammit!!! 


Maybe I'm reading too much into this. Or maybe it's me who always wants new clothes and new toys. Very likely.


I have a point? Oh yes, FOOD.


So, even though I have a chicken enchilada recipe that I find to be the best in the world, I decided to change it up a bit. 


And, this one was a winner. Notice, I did not say THE winner. There have been many winners but few make the grand rotation. It takes a lot to hold my interest. (Actually it only takes three things -- potatoes, oil and salt. But, besides that, it takes a lot. I mean it takes a special recipe for me to even remember it six months later. Mostly likely because, in addition to ADD, I have a horrible memory. Doesn't eating carrots help with that? No, that's eyesight. Well, that ship has already sailed.)


Shit, I lost it again. Oh yes, FOOD. 


Here's the recipe. Try it and, if you like it, remind me that it's a good one in a month or so.


p.s. This recipe can be halved. 


Chicken Mole Enchiladas 


For the sauce 

• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 4 tablespoons self-rising flour
• 1/4 cup New Mexico chili powder
• 1/4 cup California chili powder
• 1 (15 ounce) can tomato sauce
• 3 cups chicken broth
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon onion poder
• 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

• salt to taste
• 2 ounces dark chocolate, chopped

For the enchiladas

20 corn tortillas

3 cups of cheddar cheese, shredded

6 green onions, chopped

2 cups of cooked chicken, shredded

1 cup of sour cream

oil for frying

Directions

1. Heat oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Stir in flour and chili powder, reduce heat to medium, and cook until lightly brown, stirring constantly to prevent burning flour.
2. Gradually stir in tomato sauce, broth, cumin, garlic powder, oregano and onion powder into the flour and chili powder until smooth, and continue cooking over medium heat approximately 10 minutes, or until thickened slightly. Season to taste with salt. Stir in chocolate.
3. Mix chicken, green onions, cheese and sour cream in a separate bowl.
4. Fry tortillas individually in oil for a few seconds each. 
5. Assemble by dipping tortillas into warm sauce, filling with chicken mixture, rolling, and placing into a 13x9 baking dish. Recipe will make enough for two pans. Bake one now and freeze the second for later!
6. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Trust me on the chocolate. It gives the sauce a depth of flavor and your love will never really know there is chocolate in there. 

Cooking - Meatless Monday Veggie Tacos

Now you know me loves me beef. In fact, entering the search term "daddy cow beef" will somehow lead you to my lowly blog.


But I also know there are definite health and environmental benefits from going meatless. So I've decided to join the Meatless Monday movement. One day a week, if I can remember, I will cut meat out of my family's diet. 


Here's the mission that I subscribe to from www.meatlessmonday.com:


Going meatless once a week may reduce your risk of chronic preventable conditions like cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes and obesity. It can also help reduce your carbon footprint and save precious resources like fresh water and fossil fuel. 


Sounds good to me! It's a small step but a manageable one in our household. Red meat is pretty scarce around here anyway. (Thanks Larry.)


Last week I made Pioneer Woman's Grilled Vegetable Pizza. I had some issues with my execution, (I rolled out the dough too thin and the toppings just made the whole thing a soggy, unattractive mess) but the flavors kicked ass. 


That's when I had an epiphany. At the moment, I'm not a huge vegetable fan. I don't really enjoy eating them on their own. But they are wonderful vehicles for flavor!


When pesto or goat cheese or curry or garlic or lemon is involved, I'm all over that shit!


So, armed with a new attitude, I'm enthusiastic preparing the foods I know my kids will reject for months to come. But I have high hopes for a breakthrough one day. I think I see the future... Lincoln will be a chef living in Europe and, owing all his inspiration to his dear mama, he will pay for his parents to live in a chateau in the French countryside. He will visit often with his wealthy, famous friends and cook wonderful meals to be enjoyed out in the garden.


I'm getting way excited about this new life. I cannot wait.


While I dream, enjoy this recipe that I came up with today. Larry and I loved every bite of these tacos. The kids enjoyed some black beans and quinoa with avocado and corn. Well, maybe "enjoy" is a strong word...I forced Maya to choke back a few bites. Buen provecho!

Veggie Tacos 


2 tablespoons Canola Oil
1 red bell pepper, cut into strips
1 sweet yellow onion, sliced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 ear of corn
1 yellow squash, cut into half moons
1 zucchini, cut into half moons
Dash of Cumin
Dash of Chili Powder
Salt
Pepper
Cilantro
Juice of 1 Lime
Corn tortillas
Goat Cheese
Salsa
Avocado
Quinoa 
Whatever else you like


Heat the canola oil over high heat in a large skillet. Throw in bell peppers and cook for about 3 minutes. Add onions for a couple minutes. Then add garlic and corn. Then add the squash and zucchini and season with cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper. Cook until vegetables are tender but still a little firm. Add cilantro and lime juice.


Serve on heated corn tortillas with goat cheese crumbles, avocado and salsa. I added some quinoa for added protein. You could also add black beans if you would like!



As an added bonus, I served Pioneer Woman's Watermelon Granita for dessert. Life is gooood!

Cooking - Turkey Chili Con Camping

Camping means to me...

gorgeous scenery,

wind blowing through the trees,

Lincoln bathing in dirt,

hikes around hidden lakes,

Maya climbing boulders,

mosquitoes eating me alive,

children building fairy villages out of sticks and pinecones,

my hair turning to straw,

endless loads of laundry,

laughs around the campfire,

cozy moments with my kiddos in our sleeping bags,

and, probably most importantly,

roasted banana splits and THIS turkey chili. 

I guess I cannot claim it to be my turkey chili because I came upon the recipe on Facebook when my friend Brillana announced its deliciousness. 

And then I realized that it belongs Guy Fieri who is often referred to as one of cooking's axis of evil (alongside Rachael Ray and Sandra Lee). 

But I do not consider myself a culinary snob. (I would proudly eat cheese from a can.) So I gave the recipe a whirl.

Best. Turkey. Chili. Ever.

Thanks be to the baby Jesus.

I really think my love is what puts it over the top. But you can try it and see how it turns out. It may come out just nearly as a good. And when you do make it  -- as you should if you desire a long, happy life --  think of these adorable faces. It may help you add my love. And then I will charge you a few bucks because there should be some royalties on my love. My love is very valuable and a delicacy in Malaysia this week. 

Ryder's Turkey Chili

Recipe from Guy Fieri for Food Network Magazine

Ingredients

• 10 to 12 dried pasilla chile peppers
• 4 tablespoons canola oil
• 1 red bell pepper, diced
• 1 green bell pepper, diced
• 1 1/2 jalapeno peppers, minced (remove seeds for less heat)
• 9 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 small red onions, diced
• 3 pounds coarsely ground turkey (thigh and breast meat)
• 1/3 cup tomato paste
• 3 cups tomato sauce
• 1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
• 1 tablespoon granulated onion
• 2 teaspoons granulated garlic
• 3 tablespoons chili powder
• 2 tablespoons paprika
• 1 tablespoon ground cumin
• 2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 3 cups canned pinto beans with liquid
• 3 cups canned kidney beans with liquid
• 2 cups canned black beans with liquid
• Shredded cheddar cheese, for garnish
• Saltine crackers, for serving

Directions

Rehydrate the pasilla peppers in hot water for 20 to 30 minutes, or until softened; drain. Remove the stems and seeds; dice the peppers.

Warm the oil in a large pot over high heat. Add the pasillas, bell peppers, jalapenos, garlic and onions and cook until caramelized, about 8 minutes. Add the turkey and gently stir, trying not to break up the meat too much; cook until the meat is no longer pink, about 5 minutes.

Add the tomato paste and sauce, stir for 4 minutes, then add the chicken broth. Add the granulated onion and garlic, chili powder, paprika, cumin, cayenne, 2 tablespoons salt and 2 teaspoons black pepper. Stir in the beans and their liquid, lower the heat and cook, uncovered, for at least 1 hour. Garnish with shredded cheddar and serve with saltines.

Serves a buttload of people. At least 10. 

Cooking - Lemon Crash Hot Potatoes and My Happy Place

It is I! I have returned! Huzzah! 


Hello? Anyone out there?


Bueller? Bueller?


No? That's ok. I'm not above talking to myself. 


But, in case anyone is out there, I have a recipe for you. And it involves potatoes. Shocked, are you not?


In the middle of my stressful weeks, I was lucky enough to take an actual vacation with my actual husband (and not the fake one I've conjured in my mind that doesn't actually exist in nature.) And, as it turns out, I kinda like my actual husband. Who knew?


We went wine tasting with two other parent-couples and stayed in a gorgeous house on an awesome vineyard. I took lots of pictures but, when I got home, I realized that they were mostly of the lounge chairs on the patio. I think about 48 of my 50 photos were of those chairs. 

I liked them.


Of course, the rest of the place was nice too.

And the wine was quite tasty.

Don't mind my eyes. I'm not possessed. I was just trying to "smile with my eyes" like Tyra Banks told me to on America's Next Top Model. In about 15 minutes though, my eyes will be mostly closed. 


I don't know the guy in the background. But he looks pretty cool. My friends are cooler, though.

Don't mind the new menacing man in the background. That's just Jen's husband, Jeff. He's harmless. Unless you mess with his Rock Band. Then you deserve whatever comes your way. 


Didn't I mention that he brought his PlayStation all the way to Los Olivos so the guys could rock out? No? I didn't make this up. I have proof.

In addition to Rock Band and wine tasting, we also tried olive oil tasting. Which brings me to my recipe for Lemon Crash Hot Potatoes.


It's a riff on Pioneer Woman's crash hot potatoes but with one distinct difference...

I'm in love. It's lemony and rich and smooth. I tasted it and I knew I must have it. And I knew it would be spectacular on my papas. 


So I boiled some baby Yukon golds...

Then drained them and smashed them on a cookie sheet...

Using a pastry brush, I brushed some of that glorious olive oil on the tops of the potatoes and added some herbs, salt and pepper. In this case, I used parsley and some freeze-dried dill that always works in a pinch.

Then I tossed in them in a 425 degree oven for about 30 minutes until they were crispy on top.

Oh yeah, I had some zucchini too so I added them to the cookie sheet and gave them the same olive oil and herb treatment. 


Paired it with my baked chicken breasts and Larry was a happy chickaterian. 

Don't have Meyer lemon olive oil? I guess you could Google it and figure out how to make it. Or take a drive up to Los Olivos and tell them that Michelle sent you. 


Though don't be surprised when they have no idea who you are talking about. They will after I've perfected my smiling eyes.