About Me







Welcome!


Whether you are an old friend or a new friend or someone who just stumbled upon my blog after Googling "stupid naked bitch," I'm thrilled you stopped by! 


By day, I'm a quiet, unassuming mother trapped behind the Orange curtain but making the best of my life through quality time with family, friends and fattening foods. 


By daydreams, I'm an undiscovered Broadway talent waiting for the day some producer gets lost on my suburban cul-de-sac and hears me singing Cabaret's "Maybe This Time" whilst cooking gourmet French fare for my children's lunch. 


By night, I'm a sarcastic, know-it-all who loves to write lists and commiserate with others in my cyber-delusional world where I have a lot more money, a lot more charm and a lot more points on my Weight Watchers plan. 


I started this blog in order to make use of my college degrees and to make my children proud. Now, I realize $100,000 doesn't buy good grammar. And I hope my children NEVER read a word of this. 


To simplify:


I eat. I cry. I watch Glee. I read. I wipe butts. I ruminate. Usually all in that order.






Please read, laugh a little, leave a comment and invite your friends! 







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