I'm convinced the people that work at the gym are mocking me.
I workout pretty regularly at the LA Fitness by my house. You'll usually find me there on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays on that damn elliptical machine next to the scary sweaty man who looks like a bloated Russell Brand. Or I'm next the petite, pretty lady who smells like a truck full of hogs.
Well each time I pick up Lincoln from the child care, the seemingly nice childcare lady says, "See you in a couple days!"
But, lately, I see something in her eyes. It's the ever-so-subtle hint of amusement. What's that about? You laughing at me, bitch! I will cut you!!! Is something in my teeth?
Then it hit me. She and her coworkers are probably wondering aloud each time after I leave, "How the hell can that chick workout so much and still be so friggin' chubby?!?!?"
I wonder that very question myself, ladies. Thanks for rubbing it in. Even if it's only through the power of your subconscious mind. I'm practically clairvoyant when it comes to judgement.
But, let me tell you ladies, the answer is simple. This bitch loves to eat!
(Duh, right? Who else would name their blog after salty, fatty treats?)
I guess I should be proud of myself for working out even though my food intake is not so...clean. And I do attempt the healthy eating route every now and again. It's torture and the thought of eating chicken and salad always brings tears to my eyes.
So I am assembling an arsenal of recipes that are healthy and I'd love your help. I know all about Skinnytaste and Hungry Girl and Spark People...but what I really want are the recipes you've actually tried AND loved. I only want five star reviews here.
Here's a few that I've found to be my go-tos when I have to eat lean...
Hungry Girl's Exploding Chicken Taquitos
My friend's mom actually made these for us at our annual garage sale last weekend. They were good! Salsa is a huge staple in my diet regimen. I usually don't care for fat-free cheese but I'll take what I can get when in the trenches.
I do not care for steamed vegetables. There. I said it. They kinda make me want to gag.
BUT, I do appreciate a yummy roasted veggie. Cauliflower is my favorite and I can eat a whole pan of them as if they were french fries. Seriously. You may not want to be Larry come 2 am, however.
We eat chicken ALL the time around here so I'm always looking for ways to jazz that bird up. This is my favorite marinade. If I'm doing the low carb thing, I'll eat it over lettuce instead of as a sandwich. Or it's also good on some cilantro white rice.
I heart Greek food. This sauce on some simple roasted chicken with lettuce in a pita bread. Perfection.
Slow Cooker Korean Beef Tacos
I have saved the best for last. It's savory and sweet and comforting and healthy, all at the same time. Tacos are my life. And, as soon as Larry goes away on another business trip, I'm making these bad boys.
So, again, I'm imploring you to share some good eats with me! Let's minimize the suffering together!
PS. At this time tomorrow, there will be 100 boxes of Girl Scout cookies in my house.