Lately I’ve had synergy on the mind. You know, that electric moment when two awesome things meet and create something awesomer than its awesome parts. Like a Catholic schoolgirl and booze. Put the two together and, poof, magic! (I was one. I should know.)
But as a mommy, these subtle combinations really support and enhance my everyday life. You may not realize it, but eventually you need these things to survive.
Here are some top winning combos that currently rock my world:
- The iPad and Baby Crack (aka television): My escape. My Valhalla. My peaceful 15 minutes on the couch before I’ve got to get started on dinner. Until it turns into 20 minutes. Then 30 minutes…
- Rotisserie chicken and French bread: It’s what’s for dinner, bitches! (Many nights of the week lately. See number 1.)
- The Wiggles CD and a Ford Explorer SUV: My escape. My Valhalla. My peaceful journey in search of rotisserie chicken and French bread.
- Baby wipes and Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser: If the first one doesn’t do the trick (and it usually does), then the second one will rid my life of any messy stains. They both will clean anything! Counters, leather shoes, smudgy faces. Though I wouldn’t recommend using the Magic Eraser on the smudgy face. But you probably didn’t need me telling you that.
- Hydroxycut and ice cream: Sure I can’t sleep anymore but I ate a ton of crap yesterday and didn’t pay for it on the scale this morning. Score!
- A good bra and Calvin Klein jeans: Some days they are the only things that make me feel attractive, without which I might just down the whole bottle of Hydroxycut and end it all for good.
- My good looks and Larry’s smarts: Or maybe it’s the other way around? Wait…hmmm….oh, nevermind.
- Fat and sugar: The bedrock of any happy marriage. No? Give your husband some donuts and see what happens.
- Bedtime and Children’s Tylenol: I’m just sayin’. You know what I’m just sayin’.
- Glass of sangria and my memories: The Producers on Broadway. The first Coachella Music Festival in 1999. Paris with Larry in the spring. I love my babies dearly but sometimes I need to replay some grownup moments in my mind. Proof that I once had a life outside runny noses and Cheerios and sippy cups of rotten milk left for a week in the hot car.
- A camera and gorgeous little kid smiles: More about that next time…
Ps. In case my last post left you with a bad taste in your mouth, here’s a pretty picture of me so you know that I do have some good days.