Thursday, May 5, 2011

Confession - My Mama Told Me

My mama told me...

  1. It isn’t important to remember the actual names of books, movies or songs. Patrick Swayze’s “City of Joy” could have just as easily been “Joy to the City.”
  2. If you’re sick (and this goes for any ailment including stomach aches, colds and bug bites), drink water and sit on the toilet. That is all.
  3. Don’t let a hospitalizing case of E. coli keep you from living your life on your own terms. If you want to eat that day old burrito that’s been sitting in a hot car for hours and hours, you do it! Carpe diem!
  4. Side dishes are never a necessity.
  5. And if someone doesn’t like the food you’ve made, they can eat shit. (This one is multi-generational, passed down from my dear grandmother.)
  6. Never apologize or explain your irrational dislikes whether they be for McDonald’s or Calista Flockhart.
  7. Speed is overrated. You only need to ride your bike fast enough to stay upright.
  8. The same truth holds for both salads and eggs – the more in them, the better.
  9. There is never a need for the air conditioner or the heater. Wear a sweater or open a window, dammit.
  10. Wrapping birthday presents for others is completely optional. And, if your children really want to be surprised by their gifts, they should know better than to look in the hall closet. Otherwise, it’s their own fault.
  11. Naps are vital to one's happiness - even at 7:30 pm. 
  12. It’s ok to be a little cheap with your money as long as you aren’t cheap with your love.

I will never have my mom’s level of patience, her kindness or her generosity of care. But, because of her, I will have more than was ever possible without her.

Happy Mother’s Day to my Ma and to all the mamas out there!

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