Monday, April 25, 2011

Confession - Ten Things I Don't Regret in My Life But Probably Should

  1. My Lovely Blue Hair – In college I streaked my hair blue. I had a short black bob with blue streaks. I loved it. Unfortunately, there is no photo evidence of this hair but I can assure you that I rocked that shit.
  2. The Tongue Ring – Immediately followed the dying of the hair. I saw it as my equivalent of bungee jumping. It was daring, stupid and something I thought I would never do in my lifetime. Again, no photo evidence – just the lasting emotional scars inflicted upon my parents. They are still wondering where they went wrong.
  3. The Guitar-Playing Older Boy with the El Camino – I think he came as a package deal with the midnight blue Manic Panic and the silver stud in my mouth. I firmly believe that all girls should date a musician once in their life. Maybe even marry them if they eventually abandon all their dreams and get a practical desk job. Mine did not. He did not even move out of his mother’s apartment. Or quit his night shift position at the Baskin Robbins. Oh well.
  4. The Cat Fight with Roommate in the College Dorm Room – In my defense, I did not actually hurt her. She scratched me up good and I simply threw her against the wall a couple times so she would get away from me. I honestly don’t remember what the problem in our relationship was. I think it was a sour combo of her slutty-slut habits and my big mouth.
  5. Getting High the Night Before taking my SATs – (Please don’t let my parents read this. Please don’t let my parents read this. And, if they do, let me remind them that I was still able to get into UCLA with those scores. Not that it was at all responsible or safe or probably even sanitary because I think I shared an apple bong with at least 10 other people…What is really important is that I did not make this a habit. I enjoyed tequila much more than pot. Proud?)
  6. Starting this Blog Post – Though I may actually regret it in a day or so.
  7. Going to NYU – I gained culture, education, wisdom, street-smarts, independence, courage and student loan debt that will probably forever keep me from owning the house or cars that I want. But it was an amazing ride.
  8. Joining Facebook – Hours upon hours of my life sucked away stalking old boyfriends, judging acquaintances and “liking” random things that will make me appear cooler to those who once knew me. That will show them for no longer being my actual “friend.”
  9. The Recent Children’s Clothing Purchase – Curse you Tea Collection and your adorable nautical-themed clothing! It’s as if you know that I’m putty in your hands when you send me a catalogue full of navy and white stripes! Oh, but the Bean will look damn adorable this summer when we go absolutely nowhere because I spent all our money on her dresses. The answer is Yes. It’s totally worth it.
  10. Today’s Three Jack-in-the-Box Tacos and Gallon of Iced Tea – I have heartburn, constipation, the jitters and a smile on my face. Good times. *Burp*

Let it be known that I have the worst memory ever. So, fortunately or unfortunately, it was a bit of a struggle just to come up with ten things in my life that I should regret but absolutely don’t. I just don’t remember enough about details in my past. How does one lose their memory at such a young age? (The answer has nothing to do with number 5.) And how does one get it back? Maybe after reviewing my list, some memories are best left repressed….

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