Obsession - Giveaways

Last week, Dinosaur Train gave me 30 minutes of peace.


And how did I choose to spend that time, you ask?


Did I clean? Oh, you make me chortle. 


Did I iron? Wrinkles are the new trend right now.


Did I work on my various charities? Please. Maya's wearing the same shirt for a second time. We're practically standing in line for government cheese. 


No. I didn't do any of these motherly, housewifey things. I hit refresh on my email about 100 times and perused the halls of Facebook. 


And I stumbled upon a local blog that had all sorts of giveaways going on!


Giveaways? I love me some giveaways!


For some reason, despite all my bellyaching, I've always considered myself a lucky person. Growing up, I always won contests and came in first place for whatever I set my sights upon.


Larry's company used to have these elaborate company dinners around the holidays every year. I won the grand prize for the raffle two or three years in a row. (That's how lucky I am. I cannot even remember all of my winnings.) Well, I think they stopped having those dinners because they were tired of giving me shit. Maybe it looked bad, with Larry's being the boss' cousin and all.


So last week I entered some giveaways on Tiny Oranges and I won four tickets to the Discovery Science Center! It's a great local children's science museum that I've been meaning to visit for some time now.


Now I know you may not think much of my prize but I see it as an omen. The winds of fall are bringing new karma to my life. That shitty summer is in the past. I'm gonna win me some stuff!


Since then, I've entered more and more contests. I won't reveal which ones because, if you enter too, it totally decreases my odds. As it is, I'm competing with 45,000 other people for some knives from Pioneer Woman. 


No, I don't think I'm that lucky. 


Actually, I kinda do. Even though I have spent hours upon hours of my life mocking The Secret, I really just don't want anyone else to tap into my fortuitous mojo. There's only so much mojo out there in the universe. 


Ok, now I'm just sounding greedy. That's totally unlike me. I heard that snort! 


So, now I need to cut this post short so that I can look for more opportunities to win big. What I really need is a vacation. And some cold, hard cash. 


Big money, big money, big money....no whammies!


If you enter a comment below, you will be entered in a chance to win a gently used children's book of Maya's choosing. Don't be surprised if it's one of Lincoln's.